Self Love

Am I Selfish?

09 Sep 2017 View Comments
#selflove #selfish #lifelesson #inspiration

self love is not selfish
self love is not selfish

There are often times when others would tell me how selfish I am. When I hear such things, most of the time I would just ignore and focus on what I need to do. People might see you as a selfish being, but that shouldn’t stop you from loving yourself. One day I told others that the world revolves around me. Everyone would normally laugh it off because everyone including myself knows that it isn’t true. However, I’d argue that this arduous behavior is me making effort to love myself. At one point, I started to notice myself utterly disturbed by others calling me selfish which is why I decided to write a blog about it.

What is wrong with loving yourself?

Probably none. You should give your best effort to love yourself! Often times people are ignorant to themselves. Taking my dad as an example, he is recently hospitalized in Vancouver General Hospital because he was overly working hard to run his business. He was basically obliterating his body without him even knowing this. Well, obviously the sickness wasn’t his choice. Nobody probably wants to get sick. Anyways, could his actions actually be called selfish? absolutely! Not simply because he is aggravating others with his illness. Rather he neglected to look after himself. He neglected to love himself.

Self-love is unconditional.

I often see people making conditions themselves for the future. When my kid is all grown up, I can find time to exercise. Tomorrow will be better than today. When you make this kind of conditions, what you are really doing is trying to justify yourself for the future that may never come. I always tell this kind of people this: “There are about 100 years of lifespan in you. Is this really something you want to be doing?”. Enjoy now, do what’s best for you now! It is no doubt far better to do what’s best for your life at this very moment than placing those conditions for the future.

Self-love is a growth.

If possible, you should constantly strive to be better with yourself. You are in control of your body. You are the protagonist of your life and should be in control of how your life will be portrayed out. Think of how you behave toward someone you love. I am sure you want the best for them. What about you? Think for a sec and ask yourself if you are doing what makes you happy and at the same time, is it helping you to grow in ways? I would focus on healthy and happy life.

Self-love is forgiving you.

This is important. You really need to be able to forgive you for the mistakes you have made. Everyone makes mistakes and the mistakes take us to that next level. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. We often hear how great it is to forgive others yet forgiving yourself is likely overlooked. What’s not ok is regret the mistakes we’ve made. Then we might say something like “should have”, “could have” or “would have” as if the mistakes might have been turned out better. What we need to realize is that everything happened in the past and the time will not be coming back. Let it go and move forward.

Self-love is not to compare.

This is something I did a lot back when I was a teenager. Your life is yours. These days I try my best not to compare myself with others. When you stop comparing yourself with others, your confidence level goes up and you will really be in charge of you. For me, once I tried my best to stop compare with others, there are definitely few changes I noticed:

  1. I stopped seeking approvals from others: I was able to concentrate on me and enjoy things I do. This eventually lead me to believe in me = confidence.
  2. I started wish best for others: My mind completely changed. Often times the jealousy kicks in and we start blaming even the closest ones. All these rather stupid thinkings stopped within me.
Share this post


I am a passionate programmer working in Vancouver. I strongly believe in art of algorithms and together with it to write clean and efficient software to build awesome products. If you would like to connect with me, choose one from below options :) You can also send me an email at